I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
