she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
