The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
