Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
