Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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