While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
