He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize