This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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