Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
