i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it glows. i had to have it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found puke in my bra..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize