Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize