im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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