So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize