If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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