Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
