she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
