oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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