bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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