You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
