he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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