Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
