its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
