Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
