There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
this hospital has no fireball
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize