STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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