new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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