I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize