eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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