DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
