Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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