dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
