things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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