yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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