Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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