Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
