Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
