why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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