But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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