We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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