I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Floor bacon is actually really good
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
