I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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