Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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