Sponge bath it is.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
