it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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