ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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