ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
