I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
