she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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