you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize