Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My liver just had a heart attack.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
