If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize