Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he just fucked me for my cheese..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
