hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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