I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
