I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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