I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
