Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize