Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
