Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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