so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
