what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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