I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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