she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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