I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
